I did it. I sent off my query letter. After months and months of research, polishing, more research and more polishing, I forced myself into my chair and did it. Granted, it took me four hours to screw down the courage, but off it went.
My first initial reaction after I hit send was ‘omg! where’s the cancel button!’ I had all these horrific images in my head of all the things I probably did wrong, all the mistakes I must have overlooked and finally, all the reasons it could possibly get rejected. I was stewing in my own fears. It was terrifying. The only reason I calmed down was because of three people.
My husband and two of the best sisters a girl could ever ask for. We may not share blood or mothers, but they are and always will be my soul sisters. Without their guidance, support and occasional slap upside the head, I would still be sitting at my computer, gnawing my fingers down to the bones. My friends were so convincing that, although they weren’t there physically, their love and ability to install fear ran rampent nevertheless.
So, I hit send, glanced at the clock, barely had time to gather my turmoil into a box when I realized I had to get going and pick the kids up from school. It was possibly the foggiest walk ever! It was thirty minutes of pure daydreaming. I was a human seesaw, up and down with my emotions.
But in the end, do I regret my decision to take this step? No. I would do it again! Scared, excited and anticipating both the good and the bad.