TODAY’S AFFIRMATION: My energy is cleaned. All blocks are removed. My vibes are up. I am so powerful. I am so blessed.
Let me tell you something – the last few years have been excruciating. I was working three jobs (not including my writing), but three retail jobs that were literally going nowhere, but it was a paycheck. I kid you not, I was scheduling sleeps in between shifts.
Let me paint you a picture.
I would wake up at 3am. Work from 4am-10am. Go straight to job 2 from 11am – 4pm. Go to third job from 5pm-12am. Repeat. Occasionally, I would get a day where I would only have to work 2 places, giving me that break to shower, sleep, and eat properly. To say it was the most stressful year of my life would be drastically wrong, however, it was tough. The only thing that got me through it was my family. They honestly kept me sane – when/if I ever saw them.
I was literally working myself into the ground.
I honestly would not see my family for weeks. They would be sleeping when I left and sleeping when I returned. There were nights I would be on my way home and I would be crying because I knew it was another day I would miss them. It wasn’t until this year – 2020 – that I finally got a break.
2020 hasn’t been a year of many blessings for a lot of people. Both my jobs shut down for two months. People were panicking all over. People were losing their jobs, their homes, their livelihoods. It was brutal and terrifying. No one knew what to expect. It was desperate times. But for me, it was my first taste of peace in a really long time.
I saw my family again. I got to hold them and see their faces. I got to cook suppers with them and watch TV with them. We picked up on our Saturday night family nights again. I still cried at night, but now it was out of sheer joy. I felt so blessed to have that time with them again. But also, I got to write again, and let me tell you … omg. Sitting in front of my computer after five years. Booting it on again, setting my fingers on the keyboard … it was the most powerful and inspiring moments I had felt in years.
Then, life started up again. The wheel picked up and begun to spin and I was caught up in it all over again.
Don’t get me wrong. I am so freaking blessed and grateful to be working again. I am grateful for my jobs and my ability to provide for my family. I am grateful that I can help support the economy once more and provide relief on our straining businesses. So grateful. But I knew something had to give. I was literally working myself into the ground.
So, I sat down, pulled out a calendar and mapped out my whole month, making damn certain I put the important things first.
- Time with my family [ ✓ ]
- Writing! [ ✓ ]
- Me time! [ ✓ ]
- Work [ ✓ ]
In that exact order. I was not going to budge. Once it went into the calendar, it was essentially carved into stone. With that dealt with, I called up my bosses and I put my plan into action. I gave each job designated days, alternating so I got a day and a night off as often as possible.
Yet, despite that, I was waking up exhausted. I was moody, snappy, and just miserable. I would come home from work and lose my temper over the tiniest things. It was insane and ridiculous. I could not fathom what the heck I was doing wrong. I had way less shifts than before. I was getting a lot more sleep. It made no sense.
Then, I came across a self-care book in a bargain bin at the store. It was like $5. I picked it up while I was standing in line and flipped through it, and it literally changed my life in the span of two minutes.
I brought it home and immediately jumped in, needing all the wisdom this book was offering and everything it said, I was like: OMG! I do that!!! Or, OMG why am I not doing that?! The next day, I pulled out a notepad and jotted down a list of everything I needed to change in my day. Not my week. Not my month. My day! And about 90% of it was just my attitude, my energy, my outlook.
Now, I put a water bottle and my journal on my nightstand. In the morning, first thing I do, I reach for my water and drink. Then, I grab my journal and write everything I am grateful for; waking up, the sun, the air, my hands, my eyes. The list could go on for ages, but I aim for 11. I pour it all out and I have never felt so freed. I feel light and open, and so happy! It’s incredible. Before, I would go for my phone first thing. I would open up Facebook and Twitter, or whatever, and wonder why I wasn’t posting more, why I wasn’t getting as many likes as so-and-so, why I didn’t have more followers, what was I doing wrong? So bad.
I also give myself daily affirmations, mantras to keep me focused and grounded throughout the day. I will schedule them on my phone to go off throughout the day, little reminders to keep going, that things are going my way, that I am blessed and abundant. Every time I feel my mood sway, I remind myself the universe has my back, that I am powerful and deserving.
Check out My Top 11 favorite affirmations here
Next, I take a shower. I used to get in there and immediately my brain would latch onto a million things that had gone wrong the day before, that week, last month. I would over analyze everything my boss said to me, what my coworker said, what the terribly rude guy at the grocery store said, what I’d read on social media, why I wasn’t writing more. It was a miserable cycle of just negativity and doubt, and hate, and anger. It was horrible.
Now, I climb in and shut that off. Every time my brain goes to something that I know will upset me, I will literally shush it like a child. I will give it no room to grow. I envision nothing but gold light all around me and picture the kind of day I deserve. I imagine the conversations I will have, the positive feelings I will hold on to. I will let nothing dark creep in.
I have breakfast (and if you know me, I hate breakfast). But I sit down, have eggs and toast. I drink my tea. It is all so smooth. No rushing. No chaos.
The first day, the minute I got to work, my brain was immediately like: UGH! What am I going to face today? How horrible are the customers going to be? How angry and belittling was my boss going to be? Oh God, which boss was on shift? Please don’t let it be so-and-so because they always made me feel small and stupid. I legit felt that weight dump back down on me. It hit me on the shoulders so hard, I could have dropped to my knees. Every speck of positivity and happiness I’d felt that morning vanished. That was all it took to kill my little fledgling flame.
That day went exactly how it had always went, BUT I kept smiling. I kept that skip in my step. I kept that picture of me going home, sitting at my computer and crushing my word count in my mind and let the excitement of that hold me together. And it worked. I kid you not. I went home feeling positive, feeling good about myself, feeling like I conquered the world. It was … OMG, I have no words.
Now, whenever I feel that sense of dread and misery, I remind myself that I am not weak. That I am not going to let anyone steal my light. I am deserving of respect and appreciation. I will stop wherever I am, close my eyes and take five deep, calming breaths. I imagine again the day I deserve. The day the universe and I will create for me.
But that’s all I do. Those five tiny steps have honestly impacted my life in a way I never imagined. Even other people have noticed the change. I am drawing such an abundant flow of positivity, good fortune and happiness into my life just from pushing away all the toxic forces that used to bring me down.
So, if you’re interested in starting your own cleanse, I recommend…
- Drink water first thing, if you don’t already! Seriously, it’s a game changer.
- Thank God/the universe/spirit animal for every single thing you have and everything you’re about to have.
- Memorize your daily affirmation. Put it into your phone to go off throughout the day as little reminders.
- Have breakfast. I get it. I don’t like it either (still), but it’s become a huge part of my morning routine. Plus, I’m not starving by 9am.
- When stress begins to poke at you, stop where you are, close your eyes, and take five belly breaths and remind yourself who you are.
Tell me, do you already do these things? Maybe I’m just late to the game. lol. But tell me about it. Tell me what your daily routines are. I am so eager to hear them.
So, until next time, all you beautiful people, please stay safe, stay healthy, and always stay positive.
