An Apology Letter To My Readers

Have you ever felt like you spend the majority of your time apologizing for one thing or another? These last few years, that’s exactly how it felt for me, like I was constantly letting someone down. Whether I was at home, at work, or just online. I couldn’t seem to catch a break. It was exhausting and it festered into something dark and empty, and I felt so incredibly alone. For a solid year, I couldn’t even bring myself to message any of my friends. I didn’t know what to tell them, because admitting that I was sad and alone was such an embarrassment, which I knew I would end up apologizing for. Plus, I didn’t want to bring them into that dark place with me.

I know I’m really putting myself on the line right now writing this. I’m already ready to say how sorry I am for being too honest, but I feel I need to explain myself, especially to my readers who deserve to know why, why I’ve been away, why they haven’t had anything by me in a while, why I don’t have Touching Embers and Regulus finished. Reasonable questions.

It’s been exactly two years since I released Protector’s Claim. October 31st. I haven’t stopped writing. I still try to squeeze in words every chance I get. Nowhere near what I once was capable of, but when you’re the sole provider of the family with three jobs, life becomes a matter of picking and choosing, and as a parent, your wants and needs become something to consider later, at a better time, which never seems to come around. I love my family so it’s never a sacrifice.

A few weeks ago, I got an email from a reader who finished Magnus’s Defeat. She was very sweet and asked when the final book would be out. I love and dread that question. Lol. I love that there’s a desire for the next book, while feeling the spear of guilt and misery that I had no idea how to answer. I’ve been saying “I’m working on it” and “it’s coming soon” so often I could honestly cry. The unfortunate fact is, it was never intentional. Keeping the books from my readers, not finishing the series, not having more information was never a deliberate decision.

A year and a half ago, my computer died. The hard drive gave up and I was so busy keeping my life together that it was pushed aside, becoming a “well, not like I’m using it, so I’ll deal with it in the future.” I haven’t touched the thing since. 90% of my writing has been done on my phone to and from work or on my breaks, hence the painfully slow progress. Even this is being written on my phone.

Now, I’m not saying all this to get pity or sympathy. Life is life. We can only do the best we can. The reason I’m writing this is because I have been incredibly unfair. As a reader, I know what it’s like to fall in love with a book only to wait forever for the next one, and it always makes me so disheartened. So, why would I do that to you, you who have been nothing but kind and patient through every release, who supported me and gave me hope to keep writing? I love every message I get. They lift my spirits and fill me with an excitement to write again. I can’t even begin to explain it, except that it’s magical. It truly is.

Which brings me to an early New Year’s resolution — I am putting aside all other projects, including Dirty Gambit, until the Touch Saga and the Sons of Judgment series are 100% complete. With the exception of a short Christmas story I’m working on for December. I’m working on getting parts for my computer and dedicating time every day to writing.

Touching Embers has 4-5 chapters left until completion. Regulus is only one chapter in. I’ll be finishing Touching Embers first since it’s the most complete. To keep myself on schedule and you in the loop, I’ll be posting word count updates every day on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Same with edits so you know exactly how far along we are. I’ll be continuing that ritual with all future books. No more falling behind!

I have also already instructed my team not to allow me any other projects no matter how much I beg. They can all wait until my original babies are complete.

But I need something from you as well, my wonderful reader. I need for you not to give up on me. I’m doing my best. And if you could help me spread this post so that all Fallon/Isaiah, Maxwell lovers can get the news. It would mean the world. Hit share, retweet, and repost as many times as you can.

Also, my website is currently under construction so please ignore it’s pitifulness 😬 I’m working on it. Lol.